On Friendship

The Scripture tells us that a friend loves at all times . . . .Some of you know that I have a most adorable little niece who in a matter of weeks will turn two years old. So hard to believe! This week my mother recounted to me a story about Isabella. My sister had taken Izzy to the grocery store. So imagine the scene. A little curly brown haired girl sitting in that little grocery cart basket likely swinging her legs as her mother examines the goods on the shelf. All of a sudden a tiny voice from across the room yells out, "Itabella!" Immediately, Izzy throws out her arms and yells out in response "A-dah!"

It turns out that Ada is in the preschool class ahead of Isabella's class. They had made friends at school and I realized that this is the first friend that Isabella has had of her own choosing. All of her other friends are the children of her parents' friends. I realized that in that shouting to each other over a vast grocery store, two little people began to live that scriptural lesson . . . a friend loves at all times.

My youngest sister when she was just older than Isabella developed a friendship with a neighbor of the same age. Amanda was often at our house and I always found myself jealous at their closeness. They went separate ways as they graduated from high school but they never lost touch. Amanda, who is now 28 years of age, has melanoma that has metasticized over her body. In November she was given two months to live. She is under 24 hour care now. She and my sister have prayed together throughout this ordeal and are tied together even still. A friend loves at all times . . . .

Throughout the fall, I found myself not feeling like myself. My behavior was not what it should have been and my emotions were all over the place. I couldn't understand why I was acting the way I was nor could I articulate that I didn't understand what was wrong with me. I just knew that I didn't feel like myself and I couldn't control it. I blamed it on the stress of an upside down life. I blamed it on anything that I could. I made life difficult for those I loved and for those who bring the most enjoyment to my life, I created anxiety for them. When we discovered that it was a physical problem easily amended with drugs for a short period, I regained my old self. The people that loved me and whom I had pushed away showed themselves true friends by sticking with me. A friend loves at all times . . ..

Recently, someone recounted to me the story of a rift in a relationship. The person's friend had just stopped communicating with them for no apparent reason. When the person tried to find out why and make amends, there was still no response. The person was distraught about it and concerned about the drama being created. Yet, through it all the person had simply continued to be a friend. The situation is not resolved but . . . a friend loves at all times.

That phrase that a friend loves at all times seems the best advice I know for our living and being in the world. It teaches us not to let relationships be threatened by failures of others in communication, by our own failures or even by the threat of death. The simple lesson of friendship is that it goes on eternally because a friend loves at all times.

Isabella and Ada are only two years old but they know this already at some level because they are living it and stand as a challenge to us to do the same. A friend loves at all times. May we prove ourselves as true friends! Amen.