Imagine it . . . a place where there was no one at war . . . a place where government leadership didn't fight against itself but worked together purposefully . . . a place where parents could advise their children and know that the child would listen, hear and then make their own informed decision rather than shutting the parents out . . .. Imagine a place where families understood each other and could not only communicate about their differences but really appreciate them. Imagine a place where harmony existed in relationships of all kinds and where instead of judging each other for our foibles, refusing to forgive each other for our flailings through stress and struggle, we instead saw the best in each other and were drawn to each other because of that best. What if we actually chose to believe in each other like that?
This week I had two experiences that really impressed this harmonious picture upon me. The first was gathering with some of my friends to discuss the topic of peace and realizing that peace would be that place where there just was no conflict. We discussed our own relationships and in so doing realized that if we could just place ourselves so fully in God's hands, we would come to know peace. We wouldn't worry what others thought of us, how we were going to pay the bills, whether our children would be safe in their travels or if they would make the right decisions for their lives, we would simply allow God to take care of it.
The second experience was being trained in the most amazing assessment tool I've ever experienced! It was created by PDPWorks and it is called ProScan. It enables you to understand people in remarkable ways with about six minutes worth of information! What impresses me most of all about this assessment is that it enables me to understand the people around me--not by judging them as right or wrong--not by seeing myself as better than or less than they--but by acknowledging the remarkable and varied ways that God has created each of us. The Scripture says that "we are fearfully and wonderfully made!" If we could just look at each other with the kind of love that enabled us to see that, what an amazing lifestyle we would have! What transformation we would know!
I realize such an imaginary place as I have painted here is a pipe dream. Yet, it is not an impossibility for us to strive for it. I think there is a simple equation to achieving it. First, we must catch the vision for it. Second, acknowledge that we ourselves are "fearfully and wonderfully made!" Third, move beyond ourselves to offer grace to others. Fourth, make a concerted choice to choose love. Somewhere in the mix I have to believe that we can find glimpses of peace.
I know not what is occurring in your life these days, but I hope that you can join me in striving to find peace and know that I am extending love to you each of you who are "fearfully and wonderfully made!" May we celebrate that fact in each other this day! Amen and amen.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Awareness
She walked into the conference room for our appointment with tears streaming down her face. Just 20 minutes prior she had learned that her roommate had been flirting with her best friend (a male) via Facebook. The best friend had called to tell her about it and she had witnessed on Facebook how he had flirted back. Normally this would not have bothered her but she and the best friend had decided only the weekend prior to begin dating. Now she felt that she had to compete for his attention. In the hunt that is the dating game, she had just shifted from the one empowered to choose to the one struggling to be chosen.
I found myself thinking that this was a little absurd. Here was this strong young woman who was letting something--a little drama--get her bent out of sorts. Why could she just not let it go? We talked about her best friend's perspective and how we always have a choice to let others actions control our emotions.
There is a scripture in the book of Matthew 7:3-5 that reads: Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye!"
"You hypocrite," said the voice in my mind's eye at 3:30 am the day following the story of the girl and her best friend. I sat straight up in bed!
You see, five months ago an amazing man walked into my life. I found him to be a kindred spirit--one who seems to get me somehow and one who believes in me in a way that no one else has ever seemed to by my interpretation. What a gift of friendship he has offered me! I longed to date him (and truthfully still do :)) but he has a girlfriend. He made it clear to me that he hoped we would develop a friendship and who knew what would become of that. Immediately, instead of really hearing him this awful switch went off in me. My competition button had clicked on and I was out to compete against this girlfriend to win him. I, too, had gone from being the chooser to longing to be the chosen one with that little flip of a switch. The outcome was what I view in hindsight as a display of insecurity. It was a display of emotion totally contrary to the strong and confident woman that most of you know me to be. I was flailing. I chalked it up to stress. I was after all building a new business, living with my parents and using up my savings left and right. Who wouldn't be stressed right?
And then I realized that the very thing I had thought so absurd in the young girl's story was the very thing that I was doing. I was allowing myself to be driven by events and circumstances outside of myself and beyond my control. Instead of choosing to be the strong, joyful, confident woman that I am, I chose to want something that was not mine and to try to possess another being. I realized that it was time to wake up! It was time to gain awareness. It was time to realize that I had a choice to simply accept whatever comes my way in life and trust that it is as it should be, that God is at work for our best at all times. If I could just practice that lesson, I would know peace and ultimately that seems to be what matters.
I tell you this story of my friend knowing that I run the risk that when he reads this he could push me permanently from his life. I hope for a different outcome. I hope for grace on his part and the understanding that in those first months of our friendship he has gotten to know my worst side and now I hope that he will have the patience to stick out this friendship, to be open to whatever God may intend and to get to know the best of me.
I tell you this story as a confessional moment of lesson learning that has and is bringing me to awareness.
I tell you this story in hopes that when you find yourself being tossed about by emotions elicited from the actions of others or your own for that matter, that you will stop and remember that you always have the opportunity to choose a higher and better way of being. The opportunity for us to claim love, joy and peace is always just before us. We just have to be aware enough to choose it. I hope that for you! I hope that for us all! Amen.
I found myself thinking that this was a little absurd. Here was this strong young woman who was letting something--a little drama--get her bent out of sorts. Why could she just not let it go? We talked about her best friend's perspective and how we always have a choice to let others actions control our emotions.
There is a scripture in the book of Matthew 7:3-5 that reads: Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye!"
"You hypocrite," said the voice in my mind's eye at 3:30 am the day following the story of the girl and her best friend. I sat straight up in bed!
You see, five months ago an amazing man walked into my life. I found him to be a kindred spirit--one who seems to get me somehow and one who believes in me in a way that no one else has ever seemed to by my interpretation. What a gift of friendship he has offered me! I longed to date him (and truthfully still do :)) but he has a girlfriend. He made it clear to me that he hoped we would develop a friendship and who knew what would become of that. Immediately, instead of really hearing him this awful switch went off in me. My competition button had clicked on and I was out to compete against this girlfriend to win him. I, too, had gone from being the chooser to longing to be the chosen one with that little flip of a switch. The outcome was what I view in hindsight as a display of insecurity. It was a display of emotion totally contrary to the strong and confident woman that most of you know me to be. I was flailing. I chalked it up to stress. I was after all building a new business, living with my parents and using up my savings left and right. Who wouldn't be stressed right?
And then I realized that the very thing I had thought so absurd in the young girl's story was the very thing that I was doing. I was allowing myself to be driven by events and circumstances outside of myself and beyond my control. Instead of choosing to be the strong, joyful, confident woman that I am, I chose to want something that was not mine and to try to possess another being. I realized that it was time to wake up! It was time to gain awareness. It was time to realize that I had a choice to simply accept whatever comes my way in life and trust that it is as it should be, that God is at work for our best at all times. If I could just practice that lesson, I would know peace and ultimately that seems to be what matters.
I tell you this story of my friend knowing that I run the risk that when he reads this he could push me permanently from his life. I hope for a different outcome. I hope for grace on his part and the understanding that in those first months of our friendship he has gotten to know my worst side and now I hope that he will have the patience to stick out this friendship, to be open to whatever God may intend and to get to know the best of me.
I tell you this story as a confessional moment of lesson learning that has and is bringing me to awareness.
I tell you this story in hopes that when you find yourself being tossed about by emotions elicited from the actions of others or your own for that matter, that you will stop and remember that you always have the opportunity to choose a higher and better way of being. The opportunity for us to claim love, joy and peace is always just before us. We just have to be aware enough to choose it. I hope that for you! I hope that for us all! Amen.
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