Desire: Friend or Foe?

It happens all to frequently I'm afraid. I find myself dreading exercise, knowing that I should engage in it for my betterment, all the while, desiring to be doing something else. I am sitting to write this only because I actually should be exercising at this very moment. I realize that I should probably question my lack of desire. Am I lazy? Am I taking my health for granted? The issue of one's desire is an interesting study.

The forceful levels of human consciousness have directed us to examine shame, guilt, apathy, grief and last week we looked at fear. Therein we found that fear is the first of the forceful levels of life to bring a more positive energy (mixed with the negatives as well). Desire is the next level of forceful human consciousness that brings with it slightly more positive energy than fear. While we know that marketers count on our fear, they also count on our desires and play into them left and right with their advertisements for the shiny new cars, the fancy homes, the fun experiences of adventure, vacation or just imbibing alcohol with friends. They know that none of us are without our desires. The question is what relationship do we have with desire?

If we have a desire for anything--food, alcohol, drugs, monetary status, professional prestige--we are driven at this stage to achieve it. That can be a truly positive thing and can lead us toward excellence. It is that want that can energize us toward achievement but that same want can be the thing that drives us toward addictions of all sorts. The negative side of this level of life is that we find ourselves craving our desires. We value them more than we should. In some cases, we place more value on them than we place on the gift of our lives. The sad part of this stage of life is that no matter what we do or what we achieve, we are never satisfied.

Maybe you know people like that--people who walk that very thin line between achieving something with detachment versus pursuing something with insatiability. Maybe you have been or are that person if you look honestly at yourself. This level can rocket us toward higher less forceful ways of being in the world or it can destroy us. The question remains . . . what relationship do we have with desire?

We'll each answer the question in our own ways but for now, my answer is driving me toward honoring my exercise! :) Here's hoping that desire can be our friend and not our foe!

Facing our Fears

The exchange of the day has been etched in my memory since its occurrence. I had just moved to Richmond, Virginia. As a new college graduate entering seminary, I was aware that launching out on one's own is always a scary prospect. With groceries in hand, I unlocked my apartment door in Richmond's Historic Fan District just as my neighbor exited his door. "Welcome," he said, "to the second most dangerous city in the United States." Maybe it was warning or maybe his aim was to induce fear in me just for spite's sake. Whatever the case, fear became the navigator of my days. The years that would follow would find me learning to never look at the person next to me at a stoplight for fear that they might become agitated. The years would bring homeless men to sit on my front doorstep and scream at me as I tried to enter, "I have a right to be here!" They would bring the experience of sitting at a stoplight with friends with what I could only term as a machine gun (I'm not gun savvy) pointed directly at us. Fear became my faithful friend and though a friend is a one whom we generally like, I wanted fear to leave.

In our study of the levels of human consciousness, we have discussed shame, guilt, apathy and grief. Fear is the next stage and it brings with it a healthiness that the others have not. It brings the ability to discern danger. But, when we are too given to fear it becomes the driver of our lives as it did with me. Marketers could on that so that we will buy their products to protect ourselves. That's why I installed a security system in my last home!

In its negative capacity, fear says to us that we aren't worthy. It causes us to believe in things that could well be delusional. We might believe that the wonderful person we are dating will leave us because we cannot live up to what they deserve. We might believe that we simply can't maintain the intelligence required to be accepted into an educational program or land a certain job. We might believe that the stock market will never recover, that poverty should be the definition of our financial lives. Our list could go on for miles! Dr. David Hawkins tells us that while the level of fear brings more energy than the previous stages, it also serves to drive us toward negative self perspectives and worldwide perspectives for that matter. Ultimately, we do not trust our lives to leaders that live in fear and so we seek direction from those outside of ourselves who do not live in fear's lair.

It took me moving to a new town to realize that I had released my fear and moved forward. Yet to this day, I remember the knots that I perpetually felt in my gut and I wish such a constant feeling on no one! This day may you be free of fear and yet full of God's energy! Amen.

Championing the Apathetic

His posture said everything we needed to know. He was a small man, covered in layers of clothing that served as the meat to his bony frame. He sat at a table with his shoulders slumped forward and head bowed low. John Henry's story was just what his posture might have predicted. He was homeless. He had lost his job. His house had burned down. His family had given up on him and had abandoned him. He had absolutely nothing. He came to Uptown Baptist Church in Chicago for food and Uptown sought to give him both the physical nourishment that he needed and a side order of hope.

Francis had the same frame. His posture was brought on by years of walking through Africa with the Lost Boys population amid the ravages of civil war. After years in a refugee camp, he found himself resettled in America. But, this would be land where he could not quite comprehend how to succeed. Maybe he had been too enabled by the kindness of those Americans who sought to teach him the ways of their land. Whatever the case, he found himself depending on everyone to provide for his every need. His "brothers" (other Lost Boy refugees) resented him, his mentors became exasperated, he was left alone because he was deemed unteachable.

She found herself in a nursing home. Having had a stroke, she could do very little physically. Yet it appeared that her life would be long in this sad, smelly place. The nursing staff was only as kind as it had to be. No one ever came to visit except at Christmas and maybe Easter and then those were people from her church. Once in a while, her son might come. It was hard on everyone. She couldn't speak well and she essentially did what she thought she did best--stared into space. Her life became one of oblivion to the ongoings around her.

In each of these cases, these people are living at the level of human consciousness known as apathy. In recent weeks we have discussed shame and guilt. Looking at apathy we come to understand that this is the stage where we find those who are poverty stricken and despairing. These are the hopeless of our society who become dependent upon society.

So often these are the very people on whom the rest of give up. Only the likes of Mother Teresa seem to be able to sustain their ministry to these folks. So, I pose this question: How do we find it within ourselves to support the apathetic among us, to champion them to new levels and to move them toward hope. I ponder this question this week and invite you to contemplate with me.