Love & Judgment

The smiles on their faces and the tears in their eyes as they spoke sincere words of commitment to one another were holy to observe. The couple had dated for years. This was the husband's first marriage and the wife's third. She had been hurt so many times before that she had sworn marriage would never be in her future. But what is that they say? Never say never! She found this wonderful man who had asked her several times to marry him and now at 32 weeks pregnant they were vowing to be together for a lifetime. Knowing the two and witnessing the love and acceptance between them I know that they will.

In our culture--especially the Christian culture--there are many who would have judged this couple. Comments would have swirled about them and probably did. As I looked at the family around them there was only excitement and joy and love for this couple and for their forthcoming daughter.

I couldn't help but think about the relationship between love and judgment. Can you really have love if you have judgment? Judgment suggests that there is a right and a wrong. If we are judging each other then you are on one side of an argument and I am on the other. Does that not suggest that we aren't accepting each other? Don't we have to accept each other in order to love?

I know that old saying that was popular in religious circles when I was growing up, "Hate the sin and love the sinner", but I wonder if it's really that easy to compartmentalize the things. When I am judged I do not feel loved so maybe it's just me that can't compartmentalize. The more I think about it the more I think that love in its true sense cannot exist in the presence of judgment.

I Corinthians13 as interpreted in The Message translation says that "love cares more for others than for self, . . . (that it) always looks for the best . . ." Wouldn't that suggest that judgment can't survive in the face of love?

I don't know how you define love or judgment. I don't know how they intersect for you but I knew at the wedding of my friends that love was swirling around us all. I felt in the acceptance that was palpable in the energies between us all. It filled my spirit and brought peace and joy.

The scripture says that love "keeps going to the end." I know that will happen for my friends and know that when I learn to sacrifice judgments, I too, will know it to the end. Thank you to all of you who have loved me without judgment. I hope that from this point forward that can be my offering to you.

May love go on for each of us to the end! Amen and amen.