Facing our Fears

The exchange of the day has been etched in my memory since its occurrence. I had just moved to Richmond, Virginia. As a new college graduate entering seminary, I was aware that launching out on one's own is always a scary prospect. With groceries in hand, I unlocked my apartment door in Richmond's Historic Fan District just as my neighbor exited his door. "Welcome," he said, "to the second most dangerous city in the United States." Maybe it was warning or maybe his aim was to induce fear in me just for spite's sake. Whatever the case, fear became the navigator of my days. The years that would follow would find me learning to never look at the person next to me at a stoplight for fear that they might become agitated. The years would bring homeless men to sit on my front doorstep and scream at me as I tried to enter, "I have a right to be here!" They would bring the experience of sitting at a stoplight with friends with what I could only term as a machine gun (I'm not gun savvy) pointed directly at us. Fear became my faithful friend and though a friend is a one whom we generally like, I wanted fear to leave.

In our study of the levels of human consciousness, we have discussed shame, guilt, apathy and grief. Fear is the next stage and it brings with it a healthiness that the others have not. It brings the ability to discern danger. But, when we are too given to fear it becomes the driver of our lives as it did with me. Marketers could on that so that we will buy their products to protect ourselves. That's why I installed a security system in my last home!

In its negative capacity, fear says to us that we aren't worthy. It causes us to believe in things that could well be delusional. We might believe that the wonderful person we are dating will leave us because we cannot live up to what they deserve. We might believe that we simply can't maintain the intelligence required to be accepted into an educational program or land a certain job. We might believe that the stock market will never recover, that poverty should be the definition of our financial lives. Our list could go on for miles! Dr. David Hawkins tells us that while the level of fear brings more energy than the previous stages, it also serves to drive us toward negative self perspectives and worldwide perspectives for that matter. Ultimately, we do not trust our lives to leaders that live in fear and so we seek direction from those outside of ourselves who do not live in fear's lair.

It took me moving to a new town to realize that I had released my fear and moved forward. Yet to this day, I remember the knots that I perpetually felt in my gut and I wish such a constant feeling on no one! This day may you be free of fear and yet full of God's energy! Amen.