Choosing Love

May 21, 2008

Colossians 3:18-4:1

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is your acceptable duty in the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, or they may lose heart. Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything, not only while being watched and in order to please them, but wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord. Whatever your task, put yourselves into it, as done for the Lord and not for your masters, since you know that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward; you serve the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back from whatever wrong has been done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, for you know that you also have a Master in heaven.”

Yes, the feminist in me freaks out with this passage but there is good news for those of us who tend toward defining ourselves in such a fashion! This passage is wrongly translated in most versions of the Bible. The actual text suggests that wives should “subject themselves” to their husbands. It is intended to suggest that wives are to arrange their lives in ways that honor God and that maintain relationship with others. It is also an admonition to all people order their lives with that perspective. Husbands are encouraged to love their wives. This is not to suggest that wives are not to love their husbands. On the contrary there is mutualism intended in the whole passage.

In the days of this writing, the author would have been adopting Hellenistic codes and speaking about them through a Christian lens. So a lot of what the author was saying to the people of the day would have been very radical. Children were treated in those days as servants. They were there to wait on their parents. The idea that they would have “rights” themselves would have been an astounding thought. Fathers (and mothers) should understand the value of their children and not take advantage of their authority over them. Slaves were called to work hard and honorably and masters were to understand the value of their slaves as human beings who were working hard for them. While we no doubt wish Paul would have condemned slavery he at least does call for treating others with respect.

These codes for living are really guidelines for all of us. Whether we define ourselves in any of these roles or not, there is something to be said for having the ability and confidence to order our own lives, to love and encourage others, to work hard had whatever we do and to treat others with respect.

When I was a little girl, my mother would sing a song to me that said, “Be careful what you do little hands, be careful what you do little hands, ‘Cause the Father up above is looking down in all his love, be careful what you do little hands.” That perspective seems to exist beyond this passage. We must be careful how we live and how we treat others. We want to honor God by our living and the best way is to choose to live in love.

So as challenges go, it would be easy to end our contemplations at that point but if you really want to grow spiritually—if any of us do—we must have the courage to ask whether we live that way! Do we? Surely we must miss the mark sometimes? Much of the challenge of this passage seems to rest in being able to train ourselves to observe how we react to others and to make the choice (sometimes admittedly a difficult one) to love. May we rise to the challenge! Amen.